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28 October 2009 @ 08:44 pm
Looking back .. on bad memories  
 So let's say there's this guy, and this guy and I happens to have a rocky past. And now lets say that this guy has deleted me from Fb and MSN because a friend of mine. I'll admit I took him off first. But now I feel kind of .. sad? We used to be friends not exactly close but still friends, or so I had considered . But confusing things in my life always get more confusing . . what is it now?

I remember my former best friend was once .. upset that i had become an artist and that i perhaps "took" what she had - or wanted. I had felt this feeling once from her again, I felt she took  what I loved - animation and filming. We are no longer close. And now i have this feeling - yet AGAIN! But perhaps this time from a closer more deeper friend? I've seen people look at my drawings I'm not dumb but what I loved as i mention earlier was Film and animation, art mixed with life and technology a sense of creativity. And here I am once again feeling this numbness of hate and selfishness. I do not want to express such cruelty  to a friend because of my own wrapped darkness of bottled up anger. So my question is, " What now?" Is history going to repeat? and is that this time  Am I the bad guy?