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01 November 2009 @ 03:52 pm
I feel as if everything around me is moving so fast, and yet I'm the one struggling to get up. I recently went through a lot of relationship, trust situation and if you knew me, you would know that I'm quick to trust, but lately that's changing. Sometimes I feel so alone. And just right now something hit me.Hard. I won't say what it is but I felt like that person not only deleted that little thing, but also deleted me. Overreacting? My friends keep saying I'm wrong, but the gut feeling I have proves that this person I've cling onto for so long, has finally left.
01 November 2009 @ 09:10 am
Haiis so as the title says I'm moving blogs, but you never know I might move back here so be on the watch! the link for my new blog is  http://crumpleddreams.tumblr.com/ I'm still learning how to operate it so bear with me!
28 October 2009 @ 08:44 pm
 So let's say there's this guy, and this guy and I happens to have a rocky past. And now lets say that this guy has deleted me from Fb and MSN because a friend of mine. I'll admit I took him off first. But now I feel kind of .. sad? We used to be friends not exactly close but still friends, or so I had considered . But confusing things in my life always get more confusing . . what is it now?

I remember my former best friend was once .. upset that i had become an artist and that i perhaps "took" what she had - or wanted. I had felt this feeling once from her again, I felt she took  what I loved - animation and filming. We are no longer close. And now i have this feeling - yet AGAIN! But perhaps this time from a closer more deeper friend? I've seen people look at my drawings I'm not dumb but what I loved as i mention earlier was Film and animation, art mixed with life and technology a sense of creativity. And here I am once again feeling this numbness of hate and selfishness. I do not want to express such cruelty  to a friend because of my own wrapped darkness of bottled up anger. So my question is, " What now?" Is history going to repeat? and is that this time  Am I the bad guy?

17 October 2009 @ 02:17 pm

Tea Time For the Body and Soul

Have a cup of tea for your health

A hot cup of tea can soothe and relax your body and help bring peace to the soul. But this soothing effect is just one of the benefits in a long list for green tea. All teas contain polyphenols -- naturally occurring compounds that are effective antioxidants for disease prevention and treatment of many health-related illnesses. But the level of polyphenols in Green Tea is higher than Oolong Tea and most commercial teas because it is steamed dry immediately after harvesting. Because Green Tea remains unoxidized, these unaltered polyphenols are its primary active ingredients and as a result, its health benefits have been documented by numerous scientific studies. According to the August 15, 2000 CNN report, scientists reported in the Archives of Dermatology that drinking four or more cups a day could help prevent skin cancer.1 [http://www.cnn.com/2000/HEALTH/cancer/08/15/greentea.cancer.reut/] The polyphenols can kill tumor cells and starve cancerous growths by limiting blood vessel growth around them. The benefits of green tea were also reported to be significant, if applied directly to the skin. It has been noted that Green Tea may help lower cholesterol and prevent heart disease, certain cancers, and dental cavities. Several studies have pointed to green tea’s ability to protect skin from UV damage; fight bacteria and viruses; and may aid weight loss. Recent animal studies have shown that green tea extracts protect against cancers of lung, breast, prostate, liver, skin, esophagus and colon. Thus, green tea could be a healthy and relaxing alternative to sodas, but you should remember that all teas contain caffeine, unless they are decaffeinated. You should also note that decaffeinated green teas may contain less polyphenols depending on the method of decaffeinating.

article from http://www.sunpowerusa.com

          IPB Image

For my friend Aman, lover of tea and coffee ♥

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
12 October 2009 @ 12:36 pm
This year it seems that Thanksgiving isn't the same, usually my dear aunt would hold a fabulous dinner, with everyone one of my cousins, aunts,and uncles there. But not this year as I observe? It seems this year instead of the loud up to maybe 10-12 at night eating and partying we would all have our own quiet dinners? I can see really for the past years we the guest have been quite ungrateful, going over eating food that she BOUGHT that she spent TIME making, and the thanks we give is to fight and cause chaos. Just yesterday my other aunt had a small little early Thanksgiving with just her family, my siblings and I and my other two cousins. It was quite nice to have a little Thanksgiving alothough its not the same as the big feast that we used to expect every year.
Current Mood: draineddrained
11 October 2009 @ 12:32 pm
Just last night I had this uber strange dream that my class was taking place at this mall .. the strange thing is was I couldn't see very well, my eyesight seemed to be quite hazy. The class was in this broken department store and it seemed that in the dream I ether left he room, or was called out. After when i went back the room/store was empty and it seemed like no one had been there for ages, I found my friends somewhere near the vending machines and they didn't at all seem usual, instead it was like they were hiding something, I went back into the department room to see that it was bored up and everything seemed different as it was a few minutes ago. When I woke up I had this feeling, that everything around me seems to be changing yet without me noticing. Werid dream right?  It seems like ll my dreams are hiding something my eyesight in every dream is hazy and i can barley regconize the faces i see.
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
29 September 2009 @ 08:00 pm

         -Relationships can create so much drama ..
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
25 September 2009 @ 03:52 pm
Finally!! Free of studies and homework! Yet now I'm stressing out about my social and personal life. I;m so tired of drama thanks to last year but here we are again. Thanks to be in a new school everybody who doesn't know nor know the C.S. students history they're all suddenly prying their noses into out past. Is our love life really that intresting? and a fag-wanna-be trying to steal my BFF? Amahzing.  Then ther's MY lovelife getting more and more fretful. Where do I even get these words? XD

11 September 2009 @ 05:55 pm
I don't think I've ever felt this HATED. Basicly I was browsing around on Facebook and I had just added and old old friend well, we USE to be friends before a big fight after that, we never spoke to each other. Four years later we happend to hear of each other again. And i realize that what i said and did to her was horrid but I really just want to apologize and now ...... Whenever I speak to her It seems I can always get the feeling of deep hatred inside her. It's been four years and both of our staus and personality has changed .... a  lot. I everytime I think of how much she must hate me so many memories of us having fun comes back. I suppose I was being an idiot back then wanting attention. I have absoultly no idea what I'm blabering about. I'm just sad .... and guilty.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
10 September 2009 @ 07:44 pm
What the titles says ^.^ Honestly I have worked SO hard to get on the team and yet my father didn't let me join, sadly.  I spent the entire  night praying that I wouldn't make it and apparently it came true, I guess this is what upset me the most because  even though I did  NOT  to make the team because of my lame excuse, but I had  also hoped  to be able to make it at the same time. I stayed quiet most of the morning and decided that I wouldn't mention my unhappiness to anyone and if I did I would stick to the story, I didn't want to make I couldn't face the teachers. Would this make me a coward not to tell anyone of this? And while my friends were now practicing at the school I myself sat here envying them, they were all trying to be kind and giving me support and comfort, But i felt that i didn't need their pity during lunch one of them   specifically gave me the look of pity and immediately  i seem to burn up inside i was furious that she would do so thinking i would not detect it in her voice and face. Anyways moving on life's good so farr :D
Current Mood: crappycrappy